When I started teaching, I had the misconception that my point of view was the most important thing in the classroom. But the longer I taught, the more I realized that my perspective was just one part of the classroom culture—not the driving force. The real challenge came when I tried to maintain that culture. For years, I fought against outside influences trying to push their agendas into my space. Lately, the big issue has been how I address my students.
I’ve managed to sidestep the pronoun minefield by simply calling students by their names. This not only avoids unnecessary conflict but also helps personalize the classroom. I believe a classroom should reflect both the teacher and the students. That’s why I dislike giving blanket advice—it feels like I’m imposing my ideas onto someone else’s classroom. That being said, here are some tips I’ve found helpful for handling names in my classroom. Take them or leave them, but above all, make sure your classroom reflects who you are.
Call students what they want to be called. As long as it’s not offensive, honoring their preference shows respect. For example, I have three friends named James. Two go by James, and one prefers Jim. There’s no harm in using a name that doesn’t match the birth certificate—it’s about respecting the person. When you really know someone, their chosen name just fits them. I wrote a whole post about my experience, which you can check out here.
Try to say their full name—first and last. Many students shorten their names to avoid pronunciation issues. But taking the time to learn and occasionally say their full name shows respect for their identity and family. I tell my students their parents put a lot of thought into naming them, and it’s worth honoring that effort. If they prefer a nickname, respect that too, but make an effort to acknowledge their full name now and then.
Share preferred names with substitutes. A sub shouldn’t have to argue with a student over their name—especially if they’re only there for a day. Keeping a record of preferred names helps avoid conflicts and makes things smoother for everyone. Since retiring, I’ve been subbing at the local high school in Laramie. I keep a list of preferred names and review it before class. It speeds up attendance and makes students feel valued when they hear their chosen name.
My classroom was my community, and I treated it like my home. At home, my daughter felt safe, knowing I was her advocate, sounding board, and protector. My classroom had the same vibe. I can’t think of a better compliment than students saying they felt safe and respected in my space. Some called it a “Clubhouse.” While some meant it as an insult, I took it as a badge of honor. If students didn’t want to eat in the crowded commons, they came to my room. If they had an off period and nowhere to go, my room was open. If they needed an escape, wanted to play a board game, or just needed someone to talk to, my door was always open.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to priorities. The most important thing is for students to learn and grow. They need a safe environment to reach their full potential. In the grand scheme of education, what really matters? Is it pronouns, or is it fostering a love for learning? Keep classrooms free from politics and ideological battles. If a teacher, administrator, student, or parent is worried about something, they should ask themselves: Is this about learning? If not, maybe it’s best to keep those opinions at home.